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'Twas the Night Before Implementation
And all through the house,
Not a program was working,
Not even a browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
With hopes that a miracle soon would be there.
The users were all nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
When out of the COPE there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And what to your wondering eyes should appear,
But a super programmer (with a six-pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experiance so rare,
He turned out great code with a bit pusher's flair.
More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name:
On Update! On Add! On Inquire! On Delete!
On Batch Jobs! On Closing! On Functions Complete!
His eyes were glazed over, fingers nimble and lean,
From weekends and nights spent in front of a screen,
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know that I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
Turning specs into code, then turned with a jerk;
And laying his finger upon the "enter" key,
The system worked perfectly.
The updates updated, the deletes, they deleted;
The inquiries inquired, and closing completed.
He tested each whistle, and tested each bell.
With nary an ABEND, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The clients' last changes were even included.
And the client exclaimed with a snarf and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
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Last updated: December 11, 1997; counter added December 11, 1997
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